Bottom line of the debate...

I realized after talking to my Pastor today about Prop 8 and my Gay friends that it comes down to the bottom line of wether or not you believe being homosexual is a genetic issue, like being black or having blue eye etc., or if its a genetic pre-disposition towards being something that a person is able to control and has free-will over. If you believe that its genetic then Prop 8 is about civil rights, if you believe that its not then Prop 8 is about preserving the Biblical definition of marriage and sheltering our children from sinful practices. Quite a different perspective depending on what you think.

There is no argument to be had with someone when they don't believe that a person is "locked in" to being homosexual by their genetic make up. My Pastor said that genetics don't mandate what we choose to do, such as participate in homosexual activity. But he also said that if a person doesn't participate in the homosexual act then they aren't gay. I thought that was almost comical, but chose not to laugh but to try and take him seriously, he was being serious after all. I thought later what I should have said to that is... "I am heterosexual, so if I never had sex what would that mean? I am a-sexual? Just because a heterosexual doesn't have sex doesn't mean he or she isn't still heterosexual. Take the sex act away and they are still the same person with the same sexual orientation."

I truly believe that the men and women I know who are Gay and Lesbian have not decided to be that way nor do I think if they don't have sex that they are any less of a homosexual person. And they truly LOVE the person they are with. Sex or no sex they are in love with a person of the same gender. So because I believe that this is genetic it is diffucult for me to say to them that they can be "freed" from their homosexual lifestyle. I don't know what they need to be freed from? My Pastor did not see how anyone could be happy living their life as a homosexual, but I think there are many homosexual people in monogamous partnerships that are happy, or just as happy as two people married can be expected to be. I see people in love and happy to be Gay and with each other, so that is hard for me to tell them that they can be "set free" when they are content.

I also asked my Pastor about his thoughts on the marriage model in the Bible and if it can be applied to same-sex partners. He said that God made marriage to be a sacred bond between a man and a woman because children need the stability of a home with a Mom and a Dad. Okay. I can see that is important. But I really don't think that children in homes with two moms or two dads are lacking in their development as human beings. I don't think the motives of the Gay or Lesbian couples out there are as devious as he thinks they are. If children are simply a "prize" to be won, in this debate over wether or not a same-sex couple can raise kids just as well as a heterosexual couple, then that is wrong. But I am not buying that either. If I agreed with him I would agree to stopping the movement of homosexuals to have the right to marry. I didn't get into the debate that much further when the idea of children were brought into the discussion. I think it would have been much too emotional of a debate and not a debate of the mind and logic.

I was thinking, but did not say it... I am not afraid for my children to know Gay people. I don't think that any of the Gay couples I know will be rubbing it in my children's faces that they are Gay. I also don't think that we need to be teaching kids about what it means to be gay in school or about marriage in general in elementary school. I just think that Gay people should be themselves and we shouldn't worry about our children "becoming Gay" just because they know someone who is Gay. I think we should give kids more credit than we do. Many Christians, including my Pastor are worried about "What's next?" what will happen if we allow the gay community to have what they want and validate that they are genetically that way and call their partnerships marriage? I think only time will really tell. And I think that as time progresses that they will see that Gay people can be moral and will stand against other things that we are against as straight people. Pedophiles won't be allowed to be married to children, I don't see anybody supporting that Propostion at the polls. And I don't think that having people "out" in society and the rest of us in society treating them as equals among us will be leading our younger generations into gender confusion or homosexuality. I think it takes more than a suggestion of, "Perhaps you are Gay." to lead a person to a decision to start acting Gay. Besides, I think that a person is born heterosexual or homosexual, so that's why I don't think that is going to happen.

And I can read reports that support genetics and don't support it for homosexuals. But knowing someone who would never in their right mind choose to be Gay and is still Gay is what makes me a believer that its genetic. Knowing people personally is what makes the difference. If you meet someone who is a Christian and is Gay and get to know them, you may find yourself changing your mind too. There will always be support on both sides of this debate, but making it personal and putting a face to it is when your theories get tested and you see what works in reality and what doesn't.