Sexuality

Something bothered me during the sermon my Pastor gave Sunday. He used the phrase "accepting sexuality" like it was a bad thing. I think that people's sexuality is such a personal issue. We define ourselves by our sexuality, but just because we identify with a certain sexuality within ourselves doesn't mean that in and of itself is sin. To be a heterosexual and identify with that sexuality isn't a sin. How is calling yourself a homosexual or bisexual a sin? I know that our actions, how we choose to express our sexuality, can be sinful. I can behave sinfully as a heterosexual just as easily as a person that is homosexual can behave sinfully. How we all view the act of sex, how we treat our bodies, what purpose sex and what place sex has in our life... these are the issues. Its difficult to be self disciplined when it comes to sex. Its a driving force in many people's life. It can become an idol in our lives if we aren't careful. We all need to ask our self the hard questions. Is sex more important to you or is God? Can you abstain from sex to seek after God? Are you able to say, "No" for the sake of furthering God's Kingdom and be an example? Are you able to wait for marriage, until you find that life partner?

Perhaps that all sounds a bit idealistic. And in some ways, yes it is. We can strive to follow the letter of the law of the Bible, but we are going to fail sometimes. But just because there will be failure to follow through and be obedient doesn't mean we should stop even trying! As a single young woman I was very much tempted to participate in intimate acts that are meant for marriage. Sometimes I flirted with that fine line between my virginity and having sex. Technically its very possible to be a virgin and still be sexual. I figured out many ways, before I was married, how to get close and not cross the line. I was convicted in my heart about my actions, and I repented many times. I could resist for a while and then would allow myself to be in a situation that caused me to slip again. Its hard when you love someone not to slip. It all seems very natural and, well, it is! But I know God wants sex to be saved for marriage for a good reason. There are a lot of emotional connections that are made and there is a spiritual connection that happens that God takes very seriously as well. In the Bible the act of sex is actually what binds two people together as husband and wife. Satan would like us to take this all very lightly and just see it as "natural" and "healthy expressions of our sexuality" and all that. He is right, it is natural and its healthy... but its not healthy and natural to go from partner to partner and to bond ourselves with multiple people. Think about how you feel when you have been intimate with someone and then they break up with you. Or the person you were engaged to and have been having sex with decides you aren't the one after all and breaks it off. It hurts, emotionally and on a spiritual level. I believe our Heavenly Father wants what is best for us and that is why He puts so many restrictions on sex. He disciplines those He loves (Proverbs 3:12).

In I Corinthians sexual immorality is talked about in chapter 6 verses 12-20. It starts with, "Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me - but I will not be mastered by anything." We can have sex with whomever we wish, but it will not be beneficial to you to do so. Just the idea of STD's alone is a reason not to sleep around. You may feel like its your body and its your right to do with it as you please. But if you are a Christian your body has been united as one in Spirit with God! Your body is a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit, therefore you need to be careful with how you treat it. Here is what the end of that section in I Corinthians says:

I Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

So the issue isn't your "sexuality" but "sexual immorality" and that is an issue for ALL Christians, not just something the Christian LGBT community needs to think about.

I just think that focusing on a person's sexuality, the label, is wrong. I don't care if someone identifies them self as Straight, Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, or Transgender. I do care about the person and how that label makes them feel. People feel a sense of relief when they are able to embrace who they are and their sexual identity. I cannot assume to understand it all or where it all comes from. Did God make you that way, is it genetics, is it due to outside influences in your childhood. I personally do not believe its a choice... if it IS a choice for someone then they need to repent, but I believe its not a choice for the majority out there. I guess I just choose to believe people when they say, "If I can choose my sexuality, my sexual preference, then why would I choose a life of misery and ridicule?" (Not all people, I understand, feel that being Gay is a life full of misery... some people have great experiences, so please know I am only talking in generalities here.) If people are being treated poorly and want to change then why can't they just "decide" to change? It doesn't make sense to me to think that way, to think its a choice. The focus seems to be in the wrong place, to me. Why focus on those labels so much? For every individual that discovery of self and identifying their sexuality is an important process and the road to acceptance of them self in many cases, even for me to identify myself as a heterosexual woman and embrace that sexuality is important. But for those of us on the outside of the situation why are we so obsessed with what everyone calls them self? Other than needing to know who to hit on and who not to... ha ha.

I guess I just realize something my Pastor doesn't. You can define yourself as a certain sexuality and that doesn't mean you are having sex. If I am a heterosexual, but do not have sex, does that mean I am not a heterosexual anymore? No! Same for any LGBT person. Just because they call them self that "label" doesn't mean they are sexually immoral people. If they are a Christian they do need to honor God with their body, and I as their fellow sister in Christ need to encourage them to do that. If they are not a Christian I cannot expect any person, Gay or Straight, to honor God and not have sex outside of marriage. They aren't a Spirit filled person, so their is no motivation or reason for them to do so. My goal would be to love them and embrace them as friends and tell them about God and what Jesus did on the cross for them, and hope they come to know Christ as their personal Savior. But until a non-believer is saved I cannot expect them to behave with the same moral standards in the sexual realm as a Christian, simple as that. And why be obsessed with their "sexuality" in the mean time? It has no purpose but to keep us all separated and create a homophobic atmosphere in the church. People that aren't saved are looking in at the church and seeing hate. That is what is sad and needs to stop. We need to look beyond labels of sexuality and look at each person as an individual who needs salvation. After salvation we can address the behavior, but not until then! We are putting the cart before the horse!

If you are saved and are behaving in a way that is sexually immoral then you need to stop, I don't care if you call yourself Gay or Straight... it needs to stop! I know its hard, and practically impossible sometimes. But God says he will provide a way out when we are tempted. I Corinthians 10:13 says:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Look for that way out, otherwise you are closing your eyes and just allowing yourself to sin. God will discipline you and call you to purity. If you keep turning your back on Him he will hit you with that "spiritual two-by-four," as I call it. And it won't be pretty! When you do fail, repent of it and start again. He will always forgive you and will be patient with you and He is faithful, He will show you a way out of the situation when you are tempted. Trust in Him and you will see.

If you are not saved, that is what I am concerned about for you, not your sexuality, but your place in eternity. If you want to know how to be saved, become a Child of God, please send me a message and I would be happy to talk to you.