God Accepts You

I just finished watching the Oprah Winfrey Show. I recorded it on my DVR so I could see the interview she did with Ted Haggard and his wife, Nancy. I had heard him speak before, but this time I was very impressed with his honesty and where he was spiritually and with accepting himself. For those who don't know who Ted Haggard is, he was a Pastor of a "Mega-church," New Life, and was accused by a male prostitute of doing drugs with him and having sex with him. The allegations ended up being true, but at the beginning Ted was completely denying it.

When Oprah asked Ted if he was heterosexual or gay he said he is a "heterosexual with issues." He said its too complicated to put a clear label on himself, such as "Gay" or "Heterosexual" and he's not going to deny who he is. I think that is wonderful that he is able to accept the complexity of who he is like that. The world likes labels. We want to put people in this box or that box, and when they don't fit in just one neatly we get upset. I think that those of us who are clearly either Gay or Straight should be thankful that we are clear. It would be very difficult to identify mostly with one and a little with the other group as well. And how Ted chooses to label that about himself really is of no consequence, its that he has accepted those variations, those inclinations within himself, along with the heterosexual self that is important. I know ambiguity doesn't set well with most people, but if that's who you are... that's who you are!

Ted's wife, Nancy, started to talk about how you have choices to act on your inclinations or not. Oprah, of course, piped right in and disagreed with her. It was interesting to hear Ted's response to this argument: who you are v. choice. Ted said, "There's a balance between who we are and personal responsibility." Its okay to be conflicted on the inside, I had to accept this was me... the part that's me (hair color, skin color, your height)... it's me." The part that's inside who you are has some wiggle room for personal responsibility (I am paraphrasing some of what he said.) Then Oprah jumped back in and said, "I got it!... Your personal responsibility wasn't to deny YOU and not to lie about it. The fall wasn't because you did it, but because you lied about it." Ted agreed with her "ah ha" moment. She later asked if he thought he was cured, and he said, "I don't think I'm cured, because I don't think I was ever sick." I absolutely agree with that. He wasn't, and isn't, sick. It wasn't demonic warfare that caused him to gravitate towards same sex experiences. It's who he is, its part of his genetic make up. Its who God created him as. He had to love and accept himself, and the only way he was able to do that was to realize that Jesus loves him. Jesus loves everyone. Even the sexually conflicted.

Ted's sin was to deny who he was, and his desires. His sin was to cheat on his wife. He loves his wife, is married and has five kids. He is sexually attracted to his wife and they are happy in the bedroom, they told Oprah that. His inclinations, his thoughts, are not evil, its how he chose to act on those thoughts. He was compulsive and couldn't control himself. That's what he was talking about when he mentioned "personal responsibility." He was a Pastor, he had a commitment to his members, and he is married and has a commitment to his wife. Our leaders are not suppose to be hypocritical. They don't have to be perfect, but they need to own up to who they are and show their flock how they are to live, to accept themselves and still live righteously.

I think its wonderful that Ted Haggard and his wife are still married. She committed to stay with him, even after the scandal broke out. She is a good wife. I think he is in the right relationship, I don't think he needs to leave her and run off with a man to be happy. God just wanted him to come to grips with his sexuality and own it, be responsible about it, and not act compulsively on his lustful thoughts. He summed up what the Bible has to say about marriage, and I am 100% with him. I have said the same thing myself. Ted said, "I believe what the Bible says... I believe God's ideal for us is to live in heterosexual monogamous marriages. I just believe that. I think its an ideal, just like I wish there wasn't divorce, and so an ideal is that there isn't divorce, but there is." And I agree with his point. The Bible outlines the IDEAL relationship, the original plan... perhaps, that God had in the beginning with Adam and Eve. But the fact is that there are situations and people that don't fit into that IDEAL. We need to accept that. I'm not saying, therefore it's wrong for two men or two women to be married, because of the Biblical ideal set forth. But I acknowledge that the Bible does point to heterosexual marriage as the model of what a marriage should look like. I think today we need to broaden our perspectives though. Marriage may take on a different form than what the Bible portrays sometimes. There still need to be moral guidelines, such as adults can't marry children, and people can't marry animals... that's the "slippery slope" some people would like to believe that same-sex marriage would take us down. But two adults who love each other should be able to marry, bottom line.

Wouldn't it be nice if Gay men and women, who love the Lord with all their hearts and souls, could walk into ANY church and be accepted by everyone in the pews, and at the pulpit? And those that aren't saved could also walk into a church and feel loved and not judged? We could invite all our firends and love each other as Christ loves us. Just because people don't act like me, or live like me, or love like me doesn't make them "bad" people. If they don't fit the mold, don't fit the "ideal" it shouldn't matter. Its where your heart is and if you can stand in God's presence and accept yourself as you are, as God accepts you, then you are in a good place. You are sought out by God. The gay, the straight, the bi-sexual, the sexually ambiguous, the everything in between. He is seeking you out. God wants you to know Jesus and be part of His family. There is a place for you, there is room at the table. Everyone has sinned, everyone is unrighteous in some way, and Jesus loves the unrighteous. He came for you.

Scripture to think about (Quoted from the New American Standard Bible):

Romans 3:10 "As it is written, There is none righteous, not even one..."

Romans 3:12 "There is none who does good, not even one..."

Romans 3: 23-25 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus; Whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in His blood through faith. This was to demonstrate His righteousness, because in the forbearance of God He passed over the sins previously committed..."

Romans 5:1-2 "Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God."

Those are some meaty words in there, look them up if you don't know what "propitiation" and "forbearance" means. Those are some powerful words. They apply to you. You can stand on those words of God, stand firm in your faith and know that God sent Jesus to die for YOU, gay or straight, black or white, male or female, rich or poor... for everyone. God accepts you, even if the world doesn't , even if the church doesn't. Hopefully someday the church will be more Christ- minded and see the error of exiling certain groups of people from their buildings, or allowing you in but rejecting the fact that you can't change who you are and trying to force you to deny something you can't. Until then you have a family with God, with those that are in the world that know Jesus loves you and want to love you as their brother and sister in Christ, like me :-) !!! I love you all, God bless!