A Remembrance of my Mother

Written Friday, July 8, 2009 for my Mom's memorial service on July 9th, her birthday.

Throughout my Mom’s life I have seen that God has had His hand on her and has always taken care of her. The words of the Hymn, “God Will Take Care of You,” remind me of this: “Be not dismayed what e’er be tide, God will take care of you.” It has been playing in my mind and comforting me this past week, since I started to reflect on her life with God and His care for her. There are three major examples that I can think of and would like to share with you today. The first happened when I was a baby, the second was about a year and a half ago, and the third was the day she died.

My Mom, as many of my friends know, was bi-polar. Before she was diagnosed she had many rough years, and when I was a baby my Mom attempted suicide, due to the depression caused by her illness. On the day of this incident a woman was compelled to stop by our house to check on her, my Dad wasn’t home at the time. My brother, Nathan (who was about two years old), answered the door and told her his Mommy was in the bathroom bleeding. She acted quickly and the paramedics were able to come get her and her life was spared, thankfully. I am so glad that the Lord decided to allow me to have my Mother, without her I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I get my love for singing and playing the piano from her, as well as my love to draw and paint and so much more. It simply wasn’t her time to go and He made sure she was taken care of in her darkest moment.

About a year and a half ago, a few months after she had moved into a retirement community, I was in my 9th month of pregnancy when I received a call. They told me she was discovered by the staff as unresponsive and that she had been rushed to the hospital. At that time, the medication she had taken for about 30 years had started to become toxic to her system and had built up to a point that caused her to be hospitalized. I believe, if she hadn’t moved there she most likely would have died from that event. Because if she was still in her previous apartment, living alone, I would have been calling her for a couple days, trying to reach her and freaking out about what had happened to her, then arriving to her apartment to most likely find it was too late. But by God’s providence she had moved and she was at the right place, at the right time, and she was saved once again. The staff and neighbors she had there meant so much to her, and me as well. I am so glad she had them looking after her, keeping an eye on her, and to offer her friendship. The added blessing to me was that she was out of the hospital for a short time, just long enough to witness the birth of my daughter, Katie. She was still in a very manic state, but she remembered everything about the birth, except her over-the-top manic behavior in the delivery room (which I recollect with good humor). I praise God that He made that happen, that meant so much to me to have her there. My Aunt ended up taking her back to the hospital that same day, after Katie was born. I am so very thankful to my Aunt and Uncle Kreiss for putting up with her in those days leading up to Katie’s birth. It wasn’t easy, I know. For me, it was another miracle that she was #1 alive and #2 there for me on such a special occasion.

The final example I have is the day my Mom died. She was about to take a shower and the water was running when she went into cardiac arrest. Her downstairs neighbor heard the water running for a longer time than would be normal and notified the office staff. They found her unconscious, and the paramedics rushed her to the ER. She did pass away, but it was painless and quick. She did not suffer. And I think it’s amazing that God used running water as her voice. She was alone and couldn’t have called out for help, but the way the Lord timed the event He provided that call for help in the form of running water. That is such a blessing to me, to know that God was always there for her in her time of need. She never truly was alone because she had her Lord. And it brings me comfort to know that she was worked on diligently by the paramedics and the Doctor in the ER. I know they tried everything possible to revive her. It eases my mind to know that it truly was her time to go. There was nothing anyone could have done to stop that from happening. It was not the Lord’s will for her to live another day. It was her time to be made whole again and live her life in utter happiness, in the presence of her Lord. Almost makes me jealous.

During this time I am so blessed and comforted by the knowledge I have that my Mother believed in Jesus Christ as her Savior. Because of her belief and the promises I read in the Bible, I can know for certain that she is in Heaven and have peace. She had difficulties mentally all her life, but especially in the last year and a half I know she was particularly frustrated by that. She had physical disabilities with her knees, her hands, and had difficulty dealing with the many side effects of her new medications. She had sadness due to her sister’s current struggles in the hospital and had lonely moments when she wasn’t able to be with family. But today she is whole, in mind and body, and she stands in the presence of God, where she will never feel lonely or sad again, and there is no more pain, no worries, just happiness and love. I imagine her joining in with the choir of angels, singing praises to God, and enjoying the rest of her eternity completely restored.

Praise God for His wonderful mercies! Amen.