Putting a Period on It

I want to outline what I believe and have concluded on my journey while writing this blog. I just want to sum it all up and "put a period on it," as the saying goes. Note: I will most likely at this point only be writing on my blog occasionally, as news comes out regarding the subject of gays and Christians and as the subject of gay marriage comes up in politics and on our ballots. Or I may choose to share some personal spiritual lessons as they happen in my life. But at this time I don't think I have much more to say on the subject of gay Christians than what I will be writing below, I feel like I am starting to just repeat myself. So here it goes...

My concluding thoughts:

The Bible does say that the homosexual sex act itself, not the person, is a sin.

Being a homosexual/ gay person does not mean that person is also engaging in the homosexual sex act. Think of it this way, would you still be heterosexual if you were not having sex? yes... you would. A person cannot repent of being gay, that is who they are.

Expecting people that are not saved to behave like a Christian before they come to the point of salvation doesn't work. We need to love our neighbors as ourselves, is what the Bible teaches, and that includes saved and non-saved people, gay or straight.

Conviction is the work of the Holy Spirit, it is not your job or my job to change the hearts of people and to transfer our convictions to them. We can only share our point of view and how we came to the conclusion of our own convictions, live by example and live by our own convictions. The Bible supports this and is clear that not every Christian has the same level of conviction about every subject. That is why there are different denominations, different ways of worship, etc. What is clear is the route to salvation, who God is, and who Jesus is and what he did for us on the cross, and how we should treat each other (with love, just as we should love God with all we are). Those are the points that unite us as Christians, the creed that we all agree on and abide by. Also, Christians are at different points along their path, and what one is convicted of on day one of being a Christian and year 50 are completely different. God leads each one of us on our own path, and those of us farther along on our journey may need to be a little more understanding of the ones who "aren't there yet."

I believe some gay men and women will be convicted to live a celibate and single life, others will be convicted to abstain from the sex act itself but not be convicted to leave their partner, and others will be convicted to marry someone of the opposite sex because their lifestyle was a way to rebel against God, not about being inherently gay. Others will only be convicted that they need to be married (or in a civil union), in a monogamous and committed relationship, in order to have sex. Convictions of each individual will fall in a different place, and we cannot assume that only one of the above paths is the correct path for EVERY gay person who becomes a Christian. We should support each person's path as they seek to walk in the light of God's law and be obedient to His commands, even if that looks a little different on each person. I cannot even start to understand what it must be like to be gay and to become saved and how I would change my life due to my newly found salvation. I have no idea what God would call me to do. And I do believe that the individuals heart felt convictions will have a lot of weight with God on judgment day.

Judgment is God's job, not yours. People will be judged for their sins and behaviors by God, not you. Living by your convictions has a lot to do with how you will be judged. (There is a perfect example given by the Apostle Paul; when he wrote about eating meat offered to idols. Those that ate meat offered to idols, when they believed it was a sin, just brought judgment on themselves. Those that ate the same meat with a clear conscience would not be judged for doing so. But those that did not feel that conviction should not practice eating meat offered to idols in the presence of those that did feel it was a sin. It was better to not practice that religious freedom openly in their brother's presence as to not cause a brother to stumble.) This is why I write on my blog about these things openly but do not go parading around my church on a soap box about how gays should be allowed in our church and why, or my thoughts on gay marriage. I understand there are people who are convicted differently than I am on the subject. God has brought to me gay Christian friends that needed someone like me, a straight married Christian woman, to understand their point of view and to be accepted and not shamed in the church. Perhaps that is my calling, the role God has given me in life. If my blog changes anyone's mind along the way, provides any enlightenment to someone, than so be it. May God's will be done and may my mind be changed by the working of the Holy Spirit if I have come to the wrong conclusions. I do not wish to "test God" or spit in the face of His Holy Word. I do believe God has been showing me that I am on the right path by confirmations along this journey of mine. And that is all I can say about it at this time. If my mind is changed in the future and I am corrected in my heart's convictions by the Holy Spirit I will let you all know.

The Bible does not support the idea of same-sex marriage. The Biblical outline for marriage, the ideal scenario, is that it is between a man and a woman. Divorce and remarriage is a sin. Jesus declared it to be so, even though divorce had been allowed in Old Testament law by God. Jesus made it clear that you only marry once and if divorced do not remarry anyone else or you are committing adultery. That means there are plenty of sinners out there, gay or straight.

The church has continued to allow divorce and remarriage and offer grace to God's children. This is in light of individuals circumstances and in light of the grace that we know God so freely bestows on us once we are saved. People do not always live up to the ideal model of marriage that the Bible has given us, just as we don't live up to being perfect in any other way. Therefore we have seen fit to offer forgiveness to believers for the sin of divorce and remarriage, even though Jesus stated firmly that it is a sin to do so.

I speak of divorce and remarriage because I think that this allowance of the "less than ideal" marriage model in the church, this type of thinking and extension of grace, can be extended to gay Christians as well. These are my personal thoughts on the subject, I am not saying I have Bible verses to back me up on this. I know this will not be the conviction of every heart of every believer out there, but there are those in Christian circles that agree with me. (And again, we need to be wary of our convictions, how we live them out and how we act in front of others with our convictions. Its a fine line, a balancing act.) What I think would work is this: allow in our law civil unions between any two consenting adults, whether they be a man and a woman, two men, or two women. Then, keep the definition of "marriage" as a spiritual institution, a ceremony performed within the church. This is what I would call "separation of church and state." What then would happen is this; every couple would be required by law to have a "civil union" but the religious ceremony of "marriage" would be optional. One would only be considered "married" by definition if they opted to have a ceremony performed by a pastor in a church. This way the legal protection would be there for gay and straight couples equally, and those churches that are convicted that marriage is only meant to be between a man and a woman could continue to perform the religious ceremony of marriage between only men and women and refuse to perform that ceremony for gay couples. Churches that choose to perform the marriage ceremony between gay people would be acting on their own convictions and not doing anything illegal, but allowed to act on their own convictions. Therefore in my own case: my husband and I would have been required by law to have the legal paperwork filed for a civil union, signed by a judge, and then we would have had the marriage ceremony performed as well by a Pastor (as we did) as a religious act.

I believe marriage is a contract between two people and God. It is not something I take lightly. You swear before God to love each other until death separates you. You make promises to each other and to God, you are bound by God to those promises not by man. It actually upsets me to see non-Christian people go through the ceremonial process of marriage in a church when they have no idea how serious of a contract that is! I would much rather they go down to a court house and get married that way than to "put on a show" for tradition's sake, just to wear a white dress and prance down the aisle like its some sort of fairytale. We are sold as little girls this idea of the white dress, the little chapel, the flowers, the cake, and everything else that we consider a "traditional wedding" as a right of passage. But what we are not taught are the spiritual implications. I probably am swimming upstream with my ideas on this. I don't think Hollywood is going to stop turning out movies that are based on these ideas as the ultimate dream ending to the boy meets girl stories. And the industry is so HUGE for white weddings that I don't think that anyone will be jumping on my band wagon anytime soon. Unless all the hoopla can be transferred to the civil union ceremonies performed by judges, without all the Spiritual ceremonial wording that I hold so dear to my heart, which I suppose is possible.

There you have my conclusions and thoughts and convictions of my heart. I write about them freely here on my blog to be discussed and to be pondered. I don't go around shouting these thoughts out at the top of my lungs in my church, but if asked directly my thoughts on these subjects I will speak freely and have a civil conversation with that person. I stand by and live by my convictions. If you don't agree with me and you are convicted otherwise I respect where you are coming from, please allow me some respect as well. And if you are a straight Christian and one day come across a gay Christian please do not start beating them over the head with what are called the "clobber verses" in the Bible. Approach them with love and respect as you share your heart's convictions. If they don't match yours then continue to pray for them, but always accept them into your church and into your lives as brothers and sisters in Christ. Do not cast them out of your church, what good would that be doing them? And if you meet a non-Christian who is gay don't start with trying to change their sexual behavior, focus on bringing them to salvation, focus on showing them the love of Christ that you have been shown. Let God's Holy Spirit lead them to what they need to do, what behaviors need to stop and always support them in their journey towards this enlightenment, even if they aren't where you think they should be yet. God will get them where they need to be.